Make the artist (heart)
“We must first make the artist before we make the art. Out of nothing nothing comes.
About two years ago, maybe more,
I felt lost in my creative heart,
unsure of what I had to say or even contribute to the conversation.
I sat down with a massive piece of blanket paper
and listed all my loves, likes, inspirations, passions, curiosities,
I filled the empty page with words and scribble.
A process over days. It was every little thing.
I then grouped these under three words: HOME, HEART, ADVENTURE.
I decided to break these down and share my thoughts on these three words. They are not the usual "three words to describe your style" but help guide my creativity, my voice, my day. Each word is a tree with many branches and roots. Whenever I feel lost, and start to drift, I pull myself back to these words. They are my anchor, and my why. I shared HOME here if you'd like to read that as well.
Heart is my family, my creativity, my motherhood journey.
It's the balance in the seesaw between calm and chaos.
It's my inner core, my true north.
It's my strength, my superpower.
And ultimately, it's my compass because they'll always come first.
I gave up the corporate world to be a stay-at-home Mum. I knew that I couldn't do both well, and it was a hard decision, one of my hardest. I was a marketing executive on a lucrative salary with bonuses. I was earning more than my husband at the time, and we were unsure if we could afford it. We spent many nights going back and forward about what to do. But something told me to let go, and trust my intuition. And I've always endeavoured to listen to that voice. It's encouraged me to follow my heart, and as I gained strength in my motherhood, it led me to uncover my creativity.
I've always been a creative heart and worn it on my sleeve, but I let the fear of failure get in the way. I covered up my creativity in self-doubt and walked way from doors that I wanted to enter, and yet I knew I needed to add more creativity in my life. I didn't need to be the best; I needed to make. I needed something outside of mothering and being Mum. I've tried several mediums like mosaics, folk art, and decorating cupcakes. They gave me the mental space that I needed to function as a stay-at-home Mum. But with photography, I fell head-over-heels in love, and it has stopped the search for something creative to do. I've been learning, playing, stretching myself and growing with photography for almost ten years. It's become the very essence of me. This is my heart.